The Walk of Life

February 7, 2013

            She can remember being here before. The only difference is that the first time she found herself walking this path she wasn’t alone. Two very special people guided her all along. There was no need to be afraid because they always protected her. No need to feel alone because they filled her every moment. As she walks she remembers the long days of school, supper at their table, bed stories at home. She wishes she could go back to the years of her childhood where mom and dad always took care of her. She continues to walk without a clue of where to turn, where to go next. As she stares into the sand, feeling the skin burning sun, she can see her life before her. All the nights of writing songs, her first big hit, and her first sold out show. What was there left after all the hype, the audience, the glitter, the dancing and the tours? Despite the houses, a private plane, multimillion dollar deals and countless Grammy awards, she still did not understand why any of these things made her feel alive.

            It had taken her so long to realize how far she had gone. There were no friends to talk to, no one that she could be herself with at all times. As night began to set temperatures dropped and her body sought refuge under broken pieces of rag that the wind had blown her way. As she laid in the cold sand, it was hard to remember the last time she had seen those two people she most loved. She wished for things to be the way they were before she reached her fame, to go back to supper with them, to be told those bed stories again. As morning dawned on her she could help herself but wonder when this long journey would end. At one point she looked behind her and saw a trail of multiple steps. It was surreal to accept that this was the choice she had made. She walked and walked and walked for endless days. She found herself deeply lost. The more she walked she realized this was just the trail of life. She could not change anything about the path. The only change that could be done was to her. She continued to look ahead; the path did not seem to have an end. As she considered the things that could be changed in her, she came to accept that the past could not be changed. The only thing left to do was be the best she could be for the rest of her walk.

 

(Inspired by this picture)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/snippets_from_suburbia/8322658285/in/photostream/

Am I there yet?

January 31, 2013

            I have always wondered what this day would be and feel like. It has taken so much preparing; hours of reading, early mornings and long days of school, and many late nights of writing. This has also taken tutoring and learning a whole new language and culture when I was about to graduate high school in the Dominican Republic at the age of 16.

Many years ago, I began to prepare for this day. Today, I look forward to enjoying all the great things that will come with it. Things like a decent job, the opportunity to live a decent life and save for retirement someday. When did the preparation begin?  First, I attended elementary school, then middle school, and finally high school. After that I thought I would attended college to study medicine and became a pediatrician. This was what my life looked like in my perfect world. Although I thought going to college was the next thing for me, I found myself going back to my sophomore year of high school. Unlike the first time I attended high school, this time it was in a different country and in a very foreign language. How would I ever accomplish anything? It was too late for me to learn such a thing as a new language. Maybe if had come to the United States at a younger age, I would have been on a college track. I have no idea why I thought such things.

In 2006 a new journey began. I was a sophomore at Manchester Central High School with probably zero chance of going to college. Why? Oh, because I knew absolutely no English. I was not in the advanced placement level classes that most students my age were in. Without a solid academic foundation, I had no chance at being accepted into any college. I had two choices; 1) I could look at the obstacle for the rest of my life or 2) I could face reality and just work as hard as I could to graduate high school and attend college. I picked the second choice because I did not want to live asking myself “what if?” After thousands of dollars spent on tuition, books, uniforms, and school supplies I am so close to reaching my goal. Against the forecasts of what the employment and unemployment situation will be by the time I graduate in May 2013; the number of  polls that show how much a college education is or isn’t worth, I am still very happy about graduation day. Actually, I cannot wait until I get to walk on that stage and hold the diploma that I so hard have worked for. Why is graduation day such a big deal? Graduation means that I have conquered. I have gone through many years of school and when I thought I was almost there, I had to acclimate to a new culture, way of thinking, living and language. Graduation day makes me feel like I have accomplished what I invested in for so long. It empowers me to look fear in the face and not be afraid anymore. Although sometimes the prize looked unreachable now I am overjoyed to say that “I am almost there”.